Sunday, December 4, 2011

Is the Army a Bad show tune?

For some reason tonight, the Army Song popped in my head, and then all of a sudden I imagined some gaudy singer like Bette Midler or someone singing it and it made me realize that the Army is just one long exhausting show tune. I mean think about it, we are expected to sing this stupid song at the end of every ceremony, which includes a bunch of dancing around (marching). Furthermore, when we march and/or run we sing songs to cadence. Yes it is meant to ensure people are running in step, but doesn't that defeat the purpose of running? Some run faster, some run slower, therefore we are only hurting those who we are trying to make stronger, and thus levels of training must be deviated. But I digress... I want you to read the words of this song...


Verse:
March along, sing our song, with the Army of the free.
Count the brave, count the true, who have fought to victory.
We’re the Army and proud of our name!
We’re the Army and proudly proclaim:
First Chorus:
First to fight for the right,
And to build the Nation’s might,
And The Army Goes Rolling Along.
Proud of all we have done,
Fighting till the battle’s won,
And the Army Goes Rolling Along.
Refrain:
Then it’s hi! hi! hey!
The Army’s on its way.
Count off the cadence loud and strong;
For where’er we go,
You will always know
That The Army Goes Rolling Along.
Second Chorus:
Valley Forge, Custer’s ranks,
San Juan Hill and Patton’s tanks,
And the Army went rolling along.
Minute men, from the start,
Always fighting from the heart,
And the Army keeps rolling along.
Refrain:
(same as above)
Third Chorus:
(slower, more freely)
Men in rags, men who froze,
Still that Army met its foes,
And the Army went rolling along.
Faith in God, then we’re right,
And we’ll fight with all our might,
As the Army keeps rolling along.
Refrain:
Then it’s hi! hi! hey!
The Army’s on its way.
Count off the cadence loud and strong; (two! three!)
For where’er we go,
You will always know
That THE ARMY GOES ROLLING ALONG! (keep it rolling!)
And THE ARMY GOES ROLLING ALONG!


Tell me that doesn't sound like a song from some shitty musical, as do the rest of the cadences... I find it funny that in the macho/hyper-masculine world of the military that we sing and dance... Don't get me wrong I love to sing and dance, but the Army's version of it is boring... Not to be stereotypical, but now that we have the damned draconian "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy out of the way, perhaps we can finally spruce up some of these old crappy song and dances ;-)